i was home alone for about a month and i thought it would be a great idea to throw a party to make new friends and even gain popularity. the party was so out of control but in the end nothing bad happened and everyone got home safe. i let some people sleep over because they didn’t have rides home and i was fine with that. one guy who i was flirting with for awhile was watching a movie with me. and i was really unaware of what was going on because of how drunk i was. he started doing sexual things with me and i didn’t know what to do and i just felt like a passenger. it was the worst feeling in my life and to this day i am still scared. i have never told even my boyfriend now because he is friends with the guy who did this, or anyone else because everyone loves him. and the craziness that would arise would be too much and stressful for me to handle. the ptsd and all my emotions have ended other feelings and friendships in the past.
— survivor, age 18
Dear survivor – thank you so much for posting here. What happened to you was not your fault and I’m proud of you for being the kind of person who looks out for other people. What you’re feeling – the fear you mentioned – is actually pretty normal after what happened to you. I completely understand not being comfortable telling a friend or your boyfriend but I will say that opening up and sharing can be so helpful and you won’t have to carry the burden alone any more. I would encourage you to find a counselor who you can talk to. They can help you open up to your boyfriend – if that’s what you chose – and help you work through the emotions so they don’t interfere with other relationships. It’s really hard and I know I’m probably making it sound really easy but I know you can do it. I believe in you and YOU ARE WORTH IT. Love, Alexis