I do not know what to say.
I know, or at least see what others have posted.
Do I claim that I am different, or expound that I am the same?
I have spent a lot of time, effort and money in schools.
It would seem I would have the words.
I have words, but can I find the right ones?
Is it not, or do not want to?
To write about it, I have to think about it.
Thinking about it means to relive it.
More so, it brings my tears.
Am I not months past the consequences of the physical act?
Or was the damage emotional?
Obviously, I can not trust him.
Would it be wise not to trust any hims?
How many times do I stop writing because of my tears?
Should I list what else I stop because of this?
What would that solve?
Solving is not the same as surviving.
Can I solve but not survive, or better to just survive and not worry over solving?
It hurts to write this.
It hurts many to not write this.
He told me to relax and let this happen.
The philosophy is sound when turned to another.
Can a few shared words erase an hour of hurt?
Or weeks of hurting,
Or is it months of pain?
I have the event in my mind.
Does it matter what was taken off, or how many thrusts, or where it happened?
Should I say I am fine now?
Is a lie a poor way to start a relationship?
Was I lied to?
He didn’t say he wouldn’t.
Does anyone read the long, involved, rambling posts?
Do I need to write one?
Can I come up with a summation of this event, and my feelings, and survival, and healing?
Thank you, works for me.
-Beth, age 20