My own personal experience involves someone I trusted, drugging and attempting to rape me. I used creative writing as a form of healing during this process. I would like to share my short piece of spoken word surrounding the issues that women face on a daily basis all over the world.
the world is equally exceptional yet flawed in so many ways, but the issue I want to talk about is completely overlooked and ignored in so many ways. We are all equal and consist of energy, we all have a heart that’s playing remedies. But the conditioning of society is having a profound effect, and playing a role in this huge mess. People should not be conditioned to believe women are any less. There is a bigger issue than the difference of our biological sex. Gender stereotype’s, conformities and conditioning are playing a masked role within this mess. The whole of society and the media teaches the world that women are sex objects. I am not saying that all men are prone to this desired affect, and that they are not to blame if they do then commit a disgusting act.
Over 85,000 women are raped on average a year. Certainly more but they cant speak frozen by fear. Fear that they wont be believed or how what has happened to them will be perceived. Women SHOULD be able t o wear what they want, short skirts if they wish, without being told by others they were asking for it. And its not just sexual abuse and rape domestic violence is forever taking place. As a women you are most likely to be murdered by a current or ex partner, or raped by someone you know, so how does society just let this go? I am not saying I know the solution but the medias influence is so intrusive. Although that is not the sole reason.
Sociologists and humanity still debate nature vs nurture, but I think its time we all looked a bit further. Because to me that is a riddle that never be solved, because they are both interlinked and completely involved. But its time to stand up to sexual objectification- not just here all over our nation. Women need to know that their purpose is not to be a sex object and we cant sit back and accept. Alone you may blame yourself, reflect self hate into the roots of your health. But together we can stand strong because not one of you did some thing wrong! There are people in lives who are hard to understand and comprehend. Try to find comfort that maybe you and I are just more evolved then them.
Let’s all stand up for ourselves next time we are groped by the invisible masked mans creepy hand. Let’s say something and not let it go. It is NEVER ok and this issue is hard to solve. The roots of abuses is a forever winding road. We can support each over though, find comfort that your not alone. Rise together as one so the next generation know its ok to say NO.
Your spoken word piece is amazing! There is really good evidence that writing about trauma has really positive effects for survivors. One need only read the stories here on the Brave Miss World site to know that. What you wrote, however, is different. It is a call for empowerment, an offering of support, a plea for solidarity. I stand with you and echo your desire to rise together so the next generation knows it is okay to say NO. Solidarity!!!
Your piece is written so well. Truly AWESOME! !
It’s also time good men speak up to help the women that can’t. We as men are ruining people sisters, daughters, in my case child’s mother and what I thought was my future wife. I am no angel. I was the total “player” type but I never in my life tried to get a girl drunk or would even take advantage. Many times I’ve helped women and even fought men n drive girls home. My motto was and please don’t judge me as I am older now, was if I didn’t have enough game (conversation) Then I didn’t. Last thing I wanted was someone to wake up regretting me. My girlfriend and Childs mother and women I planned to marry was date raped in Jan of 12 after being dating a man for 5 months. She was a virgin and plan to save yourself for marriage as your sisters did, family expected and as her belief a Catholic taught her. After five months of dating her this Man (boy, sociopath) had no plan to be with her. As in many cases they end up dating after. I did judge this at the beginning. Until I put my foot in my mouth and read one in two women date or sleep with their attacker again in date rape situations. We started dating at the end of 2012. Not much time after they last saw each other. Long story short. I’m selling my family home. I am now drinking more then I ever have. Addict for sure. I researched this to fix my family. I was called obsessed with rape by her which hurt me. I’m on these websites. Looking for help. Answers. Understanding. Obsessed with fixing my family. Yes. She says its dealt with. Same as when I met her. What I thought was relationship inexperience as I’m 10 years older was clearly a huge defensive wall controlled by fear. Fear of being hurt. She said she loved me and I believe she in her heart did. Her actions possibly subconsious, although now hard to believe more then she’s just more scared to be hurt then implode her family or her help. Obsessed is what got me to not judge, understand, forgive. Even as much as she’s said wrong. Hurt me in every way. She’s not who she really is if this had not happen. I now have PTSD and am going to therapy. She has PTSD and won’t listen or read a word from anything I’ve read or written. Men need to be educated on consent and trauma and how much consequence one dumb decision they make could cause. I lost my family. She told my mother that I didn’t understand their relationship. That I left her in a state of pain by bringing it up and not leaving it “alone”. “If I give you this and you hurt me” phone number for god sakes. “Yes I probably could have forgiven you easier” after me asking “do you think our relationship would be different or better had that not happen” what she said about forgivess, came after taking 4 punches to the face and I took a deep breath and asked again. Will talk more later. This is hard. Creating email DMK2ndSurvivor@gmail.com. Other email has my full name or I would use it. As I am hurt by this. I have educators myself to where I can help from a non judgmental and understanding point of view. It’s not your fault. Drill that into any friends/ victims head. It’s truth. Plus when the sociopath predator calls and asks you/them out again, you will know so and hang up or say i know what you did. Fuck you. Even if you don’t report it. Laws need to change. Reporting date take to cops who are mostly men and beat their wives at twice the rate is a hard thing to do already. Do it for yourself , with no expectation. Silence is what keeps this going at high rate. Speak out. Humiliate them. Expose them for their predatory ways. It’s not your fault. I am starting educational sites as well as a non profit. As soon as I finish healing fully from what’s truly a trauma.