Staying Strong

He was man I thought I could trust. I worked with him and fell to his charms that led to going on a few dates and even staying at his house a couple of times. Things didn’t really get that serious and we drifted apart but a work trip abroad brought us together again. He was the charismatic one, leading the rest of us on a bar crawl during our downtime. The drinks and jet lag hit me hard and a few hours into the night, he found me alone in the corner of a bar…”time to call it a night?, we need to get you back to the hotel” he said.

The next thing I knew I was in a taxi with him. A few kisses led to me going back to his hotel room. Everything was fine but then he pinned me down on my front. I could feel him forcing himself on me from behind. Despite my screams for him to stop, he continued whilst forcing my face into the pillow beneath me.

Coming round, I was still in his room which he had deserted. The next few hours were filled with distraught phone calls to friends and colleagues. I just wanted to be home and caught the first flight I could to get there.

Once home, I knew I needed help and reported the crime to local police, who collected forensics and examined my injuries. Despite the evidence they could not arrest my rapist as the crime needed to be transferred back to the national police force where it happened.

Nearly four years later and my rapist still walks free, unquestioned by any police force and still working in the same job. An email declaring his innocence was enough for the overseas police force to drop the case. I am still campaigning for the case to be reopened.

I never thought this would happen to me but it has. Post-traumatic stress, panic attacks, anxiety, depression, weight gain. It has been a struggle. However, everyday is brighter and I’ve recently turned a huge corner. I now hold my head up high and I am becoming the strong, confident woman I deserve to be. I am not prepared to live only half a life because of him.