It was the day before my 23rd birthday. I had moved to a new city to be closer to my boyfriend but we ended up breaking up a few months after I moved. Throughout the time we dated, I became friends with his best friend. Even after my boyfriend and I broke up, his best friend and I would hang out.
One night my roommate and I had friends over and he came. At the end of the night, he tried to follow me into my bedroom and I told him no. He got mad and stormed out. Hind sight I should have taken that as a sign. A month later, the day before my 23rd birthday, my roommate and I and a bunch of our friends went out to dinner. We all came back to our apartment to hang out afterwards. My roommate and her boyfriend went to bed and he went into my room. He sat down on my bed and when I told him it was time to leave he said No. He was a big guy and much taller and stronger than me. He wouldn’t leave my bedroom and ended up pinning me down on my bed. He had a knife in his pocket. I never made a sound the entire time, just cried. I was afraid of what would happen if I did. When he was done, he left. I slept on the couch that night. I went into shock and denial. I didn’t think about it again until a week later when I was driving to class and broke down in my car. I cried for the next two hours.
I finally told my roommate what happened. At the time, I didn’t want to go to the police, I just wanted the whole thing to go away. I was in shock and in a state of depression. About three weeks later, I started to develop a lot of anger toward him and what happened, it was then I decided to report it. I had been seeing a counselor and she called the police and helped me file the report. The officer that came was really nice and I really felt that he believed my story. He told me they would get him that they had ways to make him talk in questioning. The case got handed over to the sex crime investigation unit and the officer I worked with there I’m not sure ever believed me. He had me call the guy and try to get him to confess over the phone by saying he was sorry or he didn’t mean for it to happen. That conversation was probably the longest 5 minutes of my life and all I got was I don’t remember anything. I wanted to yell yeah right you don’t.
After about a month, the officer finally called him in to question him. My phone rang while I was on a break from class. I knew immediately who it was before I even looked at it. I answered to hear the most gut wrenching words: He’s not going to be charged, he didn’t do anything. We called him in, he said he didn’t do it and wasn’t there, so we had to let him go. I was heart broken like I’ve never been heartbroken before. I ended up moving out of the apartment and to a house across town to try to put it away. I continued to see the counselor and thought I was doing much better. Until 2 years later, when I came back to finish my internship. A friend and I went to a shopping center to get lunch and as I was parking the car I saw him and we briefly made eye contact. It brought everything back.
It was a long road to travel, but I did it. He changed me that night. But in the end, I was the one that won. I am stronger than ever before. I feel so empowered. I will never forgive him for what he did, I do though feel sorry for him because he as to live with that forever and I have found peace. I have been made stronger.
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