There once was love

It seems every time I close my eyes I can see him on top of me, or if I’m to still I can feel him. I was 16 when my boyfriend decided to take something from me I could never take back. My mother had passed away who lived in Canada and I had to move with my dad in California, due to my step mom,step brother, and dad I tried my best to stay away from home, at times I would sneak out I knew the risk but I’d rather be anywhere but home, one night me and my dads side bitch(step mom) got into it because of my “behavior” after the whole thing I went to my boyfriend house I told him about the situation that had tooken place, I cried for hours it seemed as time flew I asked if I could spend the night, he didn’t mind. As I began to make my way to the bed he grabbed me and sat me on his lap, as we began to kiss he started touching me. I asked him to stop I even started to scream then he grabbed me by my hair and yanked me down, I cried the whole time I even tried to fight him but he hit me so hard i blacked out. As I woke the next morning he was no where to be found I could barely walk I shaked of anxiety, I made the effort to call my neighbor. Once I got home I ran to my room and hit in my closet to avoid conflict. I eventually told my dad but he took it as a cry for help, yet he called a therapist, she eventually called the police after I opened up because my dad didn’t have the balls. It has been a year and I can’t help but think it’s my fault, I’m the only person to blame for what happened. I’m so fucked up that I can barely keep a thought in my head all I think about his him hurting me and my screams of help yet no one can heat me. I wonder if you heard my scream and cry would you help me.

— Zaria, age 17