Time Stood Still

My name is Ilse and I’m from the Netherlands. When I was 17 years, I was raped with violence. He was a stranger. I was following a nurse education. I walked that morning too the bus station and suddenly a man who walked by grabbed me from behind with a knife. I struggle but it didn’t work. He gave me too some bushes and raped me. I had cuts everywhere from his knife. I had no feelings at that time I was surviving!! I was scared that he killed me.

When he was finished, he put dirt in my vagina and stole my money. When he was gone, I couldn’t move. I thought, “why is the world turning around now?” When my time stood still! I wanted to go home, but I was scared that I saw him again. I ran as fast as I could. At my home, I rang the doorbell and my mother opened the door and saw me crying. I couldn’t speak and showed my clothes because he had cut them in pieces. Then I said I was raped and my mother cried so hard and called the police. They helped me so good and listened very well. All I wanted at that time was shower but they didn’t let me. They needed his DNA.

Two days later the police arrested him. I was happy because I was scared he was watching me. The victim support people helped me through the trials and I spoke in the courtroom about what he did to me. And I’m glad I did that because many women don’t do this. He got imprisonment of 4 years and after that psychological help.

9 years after the rape, I told my story on TV here in the Netherlands because it’s important to talk about this subject and don’t shame yourself!