As a police officer he had taken an oath to Honor the uniform and badge worn by many; and, to Protect and Serve the citizens of the metropolitan city with whom he swore this oath to protect and serve.
As a Deacon with a mega-church, also assigned as its’ Inner-city Youth Bus Minister, he collected donations made to the church as offerings; and, he ensured several school buses filled with young children attended the church regularly.
He additionally moonlighted as the Director of Security with an acclaimed international chain of hotels locally; and, he sold homes as a licensed realtor.
Other professional endeavors he was engaged in when living are as a radio personality keeping listeners informed by helicopter of rush hour traffic conditions; and then prior to my knowing him, he was a US Navy Seaman.
At home he was nothing more and nothing less than pure evil.
I was in kindergarten the first time my stepfather exposed himself to me. I distinctly remember how shocked I felt and how horribly gross ‘it’ looked. I also remember him having sex with my mom that evening and leaving the bedroom door open. I remember our apartment, my mom arguing with him earlier about making me help him with the laundry, the dim lighting later, and the music he chose to play on the night of my initiation as a minor victim.
This was the beginning. The end was when finally, after enduring years of rape and sodomy, I left home and went to college.
Suffice it to say statistics strongly suggest that I am not his one and only sole victim.
Worse still is US state statutes of limitations prohibited my filing criminal charges against this Police Officer who at that time received a government pension as a retired Sergeant. Who had also acted in the capacity as a Southern Baptist Youth Minister / Licensed Realtor / International Hotel Security / Hub-city Interstate Traffic Advisor / former Seaman.
According to statute, it took me too long to find the courage and strength to call his police department and report him to them as a criminal who enjoyed having sex with children.
Although it is healing to write and talk about my experience, I only do so publicly because dictating a time frame for disclosure of a sex crime without any consideration if the perpetrator is a leader in the community or and holds a government paid position is ludicrous, barbaric, and ignorant. Change is needed.
_Mj
Dear MJ – you are really brave to write this and let people know what happened. You could not help it, you were just a child. You are very wise in what you stated that your abuser is in a very bad position to hurt others. You did not take too long to find your courage, the fact that you have found it is wonderful and brave of you. You were just child and thank goodness you lived through it. If you are not talking to a counselor, you need to try. A counselor may help with ideas on how to stop him. Now I have an idea i am going to throw out and there is no right or wrong. You may make a decision to begin informing people about your abuser as you have done here. Write letters, file reports. No he may not do time, but if he abuses in the future there is a paper trail. But the hard part is he is evil and he may get mad. I had an experience where i filed a report online of someone who abused a friend, and they did not deny the abuse but got very mad that I reported them – that is what evil people are like.You sure are right, change is needed and we are in a good day and time for that with brave strong survivors like yourself. Please keep telling your story and do whatever it takes to heal – the world is a better place with you helping people – thank you for your courage and strength!
Dear Sharon – Please allow me to clarify that my stepfather is no longer living. I believe this is important for people to know and understand. I published his photo in my autobiographical book; which is a layman’s analogy of the ‘love’ letter he wrote to me after I left home, and in which he pretty much admits what he did. My family kept this letter from me for 14yrs. The reason I published his picture with it is forensics, and was done so with the hopes that he would be recognized by any other child, woman, man, who also may have been violated by him. Thank you very much for the encouragement and support. I have never felt more brave than what I do right now with knowing that someone Finally heard me. The fact that Miss Brave World is helping to share this/my story still feels a little bit too surreal. I am humbled, Namaste.
Dear MJ – thank you so much for sharing your story here (and – above that – for sharing how it makes you feel!!). You wrote such a powerful piece here and it was a real honor to read. You are right about the statistics – it is likely you are not his only victim but I want to be clear (in case people don’t say this to you enough) that you are not responsible for any other victims. The onus is on him. All of it.
I wonder if you would be interested in getting involved with some of the organizations that are working to eliminate statutes of limitations on rape? You certainly aren’t obligated but I wonder if that might be healing for you. No pressure – just a thought that came to mind as I read your words. I hope you are working with a therapist to help you heal and I am really grateful to you for sharing your story. Sending you love, Alexis
Yes Alexis! Dreams do come true!! I would most definitely be willing to help organizations who work for change in statutes that weren’t necessaril.y originally designed to silence victims. I’ve worked very hard to get where I am today. Please know there is no need to feel concern if I am working through things with a therapist; my own path of healing has been very blessed with wonderful people whom I view as the greatest mentors on earth. Thank you for inviting me to help in any way that I can. When is the first meeting or appointment scheduled at which I am expected to attend? MaJunta
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You are so beautiful and bold to share your story. I am glad you did because I felt alone so thank you for that
It is a gift that I can share my story. I am grateful to you Nikita for letting me know that you now feel less alone. So do I. 😌 _Mj