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Today is my time to cry

I am crying my eyes out as I just realized that it is the 27th anniversary of my rape, my 58th birthday and I have just found your film.

As a religious Jew wearing a sheitel, I feel protected (hidden) but when I approached my 21rst birthday, I was a symphony orchestra player on full scholarship in the US. I made techuva in France in 2000

I had a concert that night, went back to my studio, and fell asleep. I woke up to a Man on top of me with his hands around my neck. It was either give in or die (fight or flee). My body remained, Part of me came back today. I have never put this on paper before today.

The humiliation, the lack of parental compassion and having to meet my parents to celebrate my birthday as though nothing had happened.

I couldn’t stay playing on stage, I feared he was watching me at each concert. I moved in University and when I graduated, I moved to Europe. It took me more than five years before I slept the night through. I stopped performing.

Turning towards a religious life where men don’t touch me other than my sons and husband has given me comfort.

My sons treat me with the utmost respect. It took me close to 20 years to stop the screaming at night or the screaming when someone came to my bedroom door.

Today, I have written things I have never put to screen (pen)

Thank you for your film


1 comment

  • Alexis


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