I am torn at 24 years old. I was not raised right. My dad was a sicko. I have not let the world know. As young as I can remember he used to touch me, molest me. In the same bed as my mother would be in while she was asleep and I didn’t tell her. I was scared. I was so young. He told me it was the right thing to do. I didn’t tell anyone. I cried a lot of times asking myself why me why I couldn’t be a regular kid? I was not like the other little kids. I cannot believe he did that. He would also check out other girls outside. Idk why he did that. As a result, I was sexually molested at middle school!! I am scarred. I cannot heal. I haven’t told anyone and I can’t. What will that do if the damage is already done? NOTHING. I have trouble trusting, appreciating, communicating and loving because of my dad. I grew up too fast because of him. I didn’t have to go through that — no one does.
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You are soooo smart ! You know what is right, you know the words – ” trust,love,etc” You are so BRAVE because you told us here! You may not have been “raised” right but you ARE right inside your heart! You will need counseling to help you learn and then you might help others. here are 2 numbers which might help with someone to talk to 1 800 656 HOPE 4673 and 1 800 799 7233 , STAY BRAVE!!
Thank you for trusting us and telling us your story!
I can only imagine the “why” and the disgust you feel towards your father and hopefully not towards yourself. Opening up about all that might help you do the first step towards healing! I wish you all the best and hope you continue to tell your story, because you are not alone and deserve to be heard and understood! Stay the strong woman you are!
Thank you so much for sharing this. First of all, you should absolutely not have had to go through what you went through. The “why” is really complicated but has NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. What your father did is wrong but it does not mean that you can’t heal. I know this might sound kind of counter intuitive but talking to people can actually be really healing. Yes what happened is in the past… but it’s still inside of your body and your head and talking about it can help you get it out and process it. It can help you find words for what happened and break up the scars so that the parts around them can grow and heal and shine (that’s how I think of it when it gets really hard). You can start with a rape crisis hotline if you want so you don’t have to give your name or anything. Just to see what talking about it feels like. It’s not easy but it gets easier. Slowly and steadily. I believe in you and you are so worth it. Lots of love, Alexis