I used to never understand the word rape. I used to never think it could happen to me. Too be honest, I still don’t understand it all I know is what happened was wrong. It was six years ago. It was a warm night in may I was at my best friends house in the hot tub. We had a few drinks and then our “friends” came over.. fast forward to five am in the morning this “friend” started to feel me up… He then began getting more and more intimate and persuaded me to come out to his jeep. I get in scared out of my mind, and he climbs in on top of me. He begins to kiss me all over saying how it was time for me to stop being a good girl and how I wanted “daddy” to eff me. He had his way and then finished. There was blood all over. He throws me a towel and says I’m going back in. I sat on the porch crying my eyes out. After he left I told my best friend everything. To this day I still don’t know how to react.
— Survivor, age 21
Dear survivor – thank you so much for sharing your story here. The truth is that I don’t think there is a “right” way to react. For me sometimes that’s reassuring, because in theory you can do nothing wrong… but it’s also hard because it provides minimal direction. So having said that… please know that everything you’re feeling is valid but it can be a lot and really confusing. So I would encourage you to talk to a counselor or a therapist who can help you work through all of what you’re feeling. I believe in you and your ability to heal and feel at peace and whole and loved. What happened was not your fault and I’m grateful for your voice. Love, Alexis