My story begins when I was 10 and my parents separated for a few months. During that time I was raped, repeatedly by a female family member who served as my caretaker and by a male teenager in our neighborhood. I never told a soul, but my life was forever altered.
Shortly after my rape I joined a deeply religious sect of Christianity and tried to move forward with my life, and because this denomination forbid women from really having a lot of contact with the opposite sex I was shielded from having to face my reality. That reality was that I was the walking wounded.
Fast forward 16 years and I met a older man during a really low time in my life, and on our first date he raped me. Afterwards, he continued pursing me and lavished me with expensive gifts and although I knew he was bad news I ended up marrying him. What I couldn’t have known at the time was that he would rape me again once we were married. This almost destroyed my life.
After confiding in a mentor at work, she helped me to get away from him and I was so happy to be out of his grips that I never filed charges against him. I still regret this today. During the course of our marriage we had two beautiful children and although I’m still forced to be around him for their sake, I rarely see him anymore and try never to be alone in his presence.
I wish I could say that my life progressed from this point and there has been a happy ever after, but there hasn’t. I’ve made baby steps at healing my wounds, but there is still so much wounding that exists and I’m not proud of this fact. Tonight, I stumbled upon your documentary and I know that it was a God thing and because of your example Linor I think, no, I, know, that I will get the help I need to move forward with my life.
Thank you again for sharing your journey with the world, and for giving survivors like me a voice. Although the story that I just shared isn’t a pretty one, it sure feels good to get it out in the open and to be silent no more. May God bless you especially, Shalom!
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