Why is it not enough? Why is my reluctance not enough to make you stop? Why is my “no” not enough? Why is my “no no no” not enough? Why are my clawing, shoving, desperately-trying-to-pull-my-pants-up hands not enough? Why is my cry of “oh god make it stop, please make it stop” still not enough for you? Why are my tears not enough?
Why do I have to be violated and then told that I’m too young to recognize that women want a man who “takes charge in the bedroom”? Why does this have to happen over and over and over again all over the world? I am heartbroken for all my sisters who have endured the same pain. It is not fair that we have lost pieces of our souls after these monsters. It is not fair that the gaping wounds attract more predators, like sharks drawn to blood in the water, who tear open the wounds ever deeper.
It is not fair that we have to live like this. Scream it from the top of the mountains until even the deaf can hear you, be so loud and annoying that they will have no choice but to change the system. Until it becomes unacceptable to violate another human. Until the victim will always be believed. Until the consequences of this crime will be so severe that no one would dare think of committing it. Until the act itself will become disgusting and unattractive, something from the stone ages, something that people used to do when they were more savage and less human.
— Survivor, age 21
Why do guys do this? A very wise question,college courses have been taught about it, term papers written, laws ( not enough) enacted, professionals trained – and one thing we know – it’s not about sex. It’s about power, anger, criminal behavior, no empathy, no compassion, no humanity. This is definitely the time to scream because people are listening, it’s not a good time to be a predator – survivors like you are going to take them down, one by one – nail them to the wall worse than anything they have done and it will take time but it’s happening now. btw – That is a very interesting point you made about this aggressive behavior being left over from the stone ages – that today we ALL no matter who owe ourselves and our fellow man decency, not cave man behavior – good point! KEEP SCREAMING SURVIVOR – WE WILL ALL SCREAM WITH YOU!!!!!!
Dear survivor – thank you so much for sharing your story here. You are so brave and strong and I am so grateful for you and your post. Your no should be enough and the fact that it wasn’t is NOT a reflection of you, you not being young enough, you not knowing what is enough… you knew exactly what was ok for you an expressed it and what he did was ABSOLUTELY NOT OK AND NOT YOUR FAULT!!!! I want you to know that I believe you and I believe that you can heal from this. I would encourage you to talk to a therapist about what you’ve been through. A therapist can help you work through everything you’re feeling and help you figure out how to scream it louder and in the right way for you. I believe in you and I am so grateful for your voice. Love, Alexis
You are such an amazing writer. The way you write makes your words so impactful. I hope you are a writer or that you become one.
Love from Ondine
You are so brave to speak out and i agree so much with what you said. i too don’t seem to understand why they do these things or take advantage when one is vulnerable. it’s just horrible and i don’t wish it upon anyone thank you for sharing your story though and stay strong .